Help meee

Murphy's law anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
So sure that I was over him now dilema again. I wasn't giving f about him and now i felt butterflies again which I didn't feel in a long time. I feel really emotional right now and I have no idea what to think about i NEED HELP.
XOXO LOVE MARIE <3

Nasty habbits

Loveee is f*****g killing me right now. I should be focused on school and getting all of my grades perfect but no, instead as usual I'm in love.
That was a few weeks ago, now I feel like that love I had disapeared like overnight or something. I almost cried cuz I have no idea what is going on with me I feel ridiculous I have no idea what to say, I don't know what I feel...when they ask me who I like or who I wanna be with I don't know what to say gosh I literally just have no idea. I have never been this helpless in my life. For the first time I just can't explain my feels. Also that dude said he can't get over my best-friend he is unable to help himself , he wants to get over her but he can't and I didn't feel anything when my other besti told me that I had no feelings at ALL. Kinda scary but maybe just maybe I'm over him which is AWSOME you know but isn't that weird at least a little bit. I was sooo crazy in love and now I feel nothing...I actually went on the internet and did some reserche and there is something like LOVE has a nasty habbit of desapearnig overnight which happends to be my problem.
I just feel so much better when I write here because I get to read myself and that somethimes really helps. I honestly feel honored really honored to have a blog.
XOXO LOVE MARIE <3 

Okay so i just got home and I decided to continue last nights post.
Ok so as I said I stopped having anxiety and, I did that with my friendship cicrle growing, ading more friends as I go and DEFINITELY giving my best to stay POSITIVE! But being in love for me had a whole new meaning...because it was the first time ever that I haven't fell in love with some kind of a fictional character or hollywood teen star so I was really happy. You know that I would have tought that I'm gay or something if I didn't fell in love with him...long story short, now I am kind of going to write you down how it all started. Well it was a year ago he fell in love with one of my best friends and they were in a so called relationship. We would constantly have girl talks about him and that made me start thinking about him a looot more than I tought, but I was a nerd, we weren't talking so you know talking about him reminded me about old times when I had a lot of friend and suddenly I started getting fellings about him but now after a long time i learned there isn't even a 1,1% chanse for US so I gave up...but then It WAS LOVE but I tought it isn't really love it is just me being silly and the fact that we always talked about him hahaha so I made myself think that it will fade away during the summer brake...and it did but as it was nearly and end of brake I started thinking about him. So if I wanted to do a favor for myself I had to rebuild my friendships and my character, and I did, it took me some time but I did and that helped my anxiety to fade away also I started talking to HIM a lot more and idk but I think we are some kind of friends now. Yeah well untill a few months ago I didn't want to admit that I liked him but then I said it I finaly said I liked him and than many crazy and insane things happend also got into a fight with him we didn't talk to each-other for a week by the way longest week in my life hahaaahhaha #teentrouble anyways...we kind of went over that but I just don't fell the some way as I used to but you know how people say ,,I fell butterflies when I talk to him" also some say ,,Fuck butterflies I fell a whole zoo when talking to you"...never felt like that, actually did but now not at all so you know i fell like I am probably Giving Up On Him. It had to happend someday aahaahaahah.
I think it is time to end this post...I just wanted to tell you all you don't need a lover to be happy and fullfiled. You only need yourself and family(it means people who like you the way you are, make you happy and always are by your side no matter what) also you need positivity and then you are fullfiled.
I LOVE YOU ALL...SEE YA <3
 MARIE

ANXIETY...LOVE...NO COMMENT

So sorry for not being able to post in a while but it has just been a crazy month for me, school brake and a little bit of time that I had free...I just used for going out parting and having fun.
Now as I apologized if I don't get to the point I'm going to start rambling so yeah.
Well opposite to my other two bloggs this one is as I said is going to be about my life.
I really wanna get dipper in my thoughts and just share every little crazy thing about me hahahah okay, well I never really told anybody this but I think I had anxiety, pretty bad actually. It's like when every single thought you have is bad and you are like a bomb your literarily waiting for something bad to happened, you can't stop it and it doesn't matter how much you try it isn't as simple as they say. It is really bad sh** and you are completely unable to control it...as I said I think I HAD it cuz It is not showing up any more and I am not insanely  worried about my family and people I care about, I mean I am always worried about them it is part of my personality but I am just maybe covering it up or somehow learning to control it. It was pretty hard actually, like if my mum wouldn't answer the phone that is where I start panicking and getting all of those so called panic attacks I wouldn't be able to control but even than I could at least pretend that every little thing is ok, which If I didn't stopped on time could've costed me my health and friendships, social life, school and much more...I honestly don't know when it stopped but I think it was when I fell in love with my best friend who I just randomly stopped talking to and he fell in love first with my friend and then with my other best friend sooo situation got complicated and I had no real Idea but I knew I liked him so I started hanging out more and having fun and I became a jock again just like him. That's where we started talking again and so much more but don't know why I fell like that anxiety is coming to the surface again, Why, because my love isn't liking me back so I have a lack of positivity which makes me be negative and that caused first kind of depression and anxiety attacks to come so yeah...there is more but AMA going to go to bed...
XOXO
  LOVE MARIE <3

That freaking school

Do you feel like sometimes everything goes wrong, even when you try it just isn't going the way you want...if you do then i feel ya...
Well this whole week for me was just bad i was sick so last week i wasn't going to school...and sleeping all day...but i felt better so i went to school, on Tuesday we had physics exam, i was sooo ready i taught im gonna kill it but i got a D...my first D...i am actualy one of the five best students in my school i have perfect grades...and everybody says I'm a great logic tinker but just mu pysics teacher doesnt like me she doesn't like anyone, and she's the reason i started hating pysics.
So moving on to Wednesday...even worse we had history wxam but it was that huge exam that we get at the very end of this simester and we had pic a pice of paper and what ever it says we have to write an esey about it so i killed one queston but the other one i tottaly failed cuz I read it wrong and i wrote about somethnig else but...then I love englesh that is litteraly the only thing I like and i couldn't do anything...its just every singke thing i tried to say or do was wrong and.....Actually i noticed something this isn't about nothing going the way it should all day it is about nothing going the way it should in school...soo i am really tired and I REALLY have a headache...so this will have to hold you untill the next post or posts if i am inspired tomorrow BUUUY...!!!

Nice to meet you I am...

Hey how is it going...I know this might be a little bit selfish but...um...this blog is going to be about me, my life, and that kind of stuff but if I dont like it i will just delet it cuz I already have two other blogs, and actually i don't even remembr last time i wrote something on my other blogs, so yup this is my intro stay tuned because i will make a new post soon...i think. See you :-3
Also i forgot to tell you basic thing about me. My name is Marie...im 14
My family really means alot to me and i love them...my mum is the best mum in the world...i have a litlle brother who likes to blame me for his mistackes...and my dad well he can be a little selfish sometimes.
??? Me well i am like my mum really family orientated...love kids kids love me i like reading but when i have time, i am more of a creativ soul i like painting, drawing, creating... And definitelly i love playing games and spending time on my computer...and yeah i think i can end this post now buy buy...see ya ;-)